ADULT FOUR-SQUARE

A post about couples who swing, poylamorous relationship dynamics, or contra dancing? Sorry. I'm a supporter of KALW, San Francisco's small, community-based, public-radio station. Especially as NPR-affiliate KQED does less and less local programming, I've been amazed at the great shows KALW produces on a shoestring budget, like "Out In The Bay;" and other shows they carry like "This Way Out," and CBC's "As It Happens."

And I'm really impressed by their local news program, "Cross Currents," for its great mix of hard and topical news, and local profiles and color. I had to laugh out loud at this piece from yesterday's show, about pick-up four-square games for adults at Rockridge BART, as I flashed back to my old colleagues and I figuring out four-square configurations in Oakland schoolyard designs, when I had no idea what the game was (actually I still don't--can anyone explain???).

But I also really like the "urban playground movement" concept. Scroll down to read the transcript or click to hear or other options.

Recess isn’t just for kids anymore...

If you’ve ever walked through the parking lot at Oakland’s Rockridge Bart late on a Thursday night, you may have seen a group of raucous twenty and thirty somethings yelling and drinking beer. They’re not a bunch of hooligans. They are out there playing a friendly game of four square. Reporter Dara Kerr joins them for a round.

* * *

DARA KERR: We’re here under the Rockridge Bart train. The parking lot’s lights dimly shine down on the friends and strangers who’ve gathered here to play. Even though it’s chilly outside, most are warmed up and sweating. Four square is pretty simple, it has four people, four squares and one ball. So the players add rules to make things interesting. Sometimes everyone has to jump up and down, dance or spin in circles to get dizzy. Player Uriah Finley says a popular rule is to call categories.

URIAH FINLEY: People will call countries in the world, types of bird, things that live
under the sea, breakfast cereals, Saturday morning cartoons. And basically whenever you
hit it you have to call out one of said things.

Finley joined this weekly four square game when it started a year and a half ago.

FINLEY: Mostly it’s a good fun-based game but there’s definitely some skills
involved and finesse and style. There’s just a lot of tricks. Um, Lee’s kinda the trick shot
guy, he’s standing right there. Hey, Lee!

He’s calling to Lee Bothwick.

LEE BOTHWICK: My favorite shots are the ones where it comes to me and I kinda like
let it slide off my fingers and it gets a little spin on it. Hopefully away from the player
you’re hitting it to, so they have to run after it and look really silly. You can hit it really
hard, that’s always cool.

These guys say that four square fits into something called the urban playground movement. The movement comes from this idea—as adults we’re missing out on something. Kids walk onto a playground and can befriend anyone with a ball, sidewalk chalk or a jump rope. As grown-ups we often limit ourselves—we hang out only with people we know, commute in silence and socialize online. But not these guys. Sam Wong founded the Rockridge Bart game.

SAM WONG: I would say that the community that’s been built up here really is one of
welcome and inclusion and of silliness.

Now, urban playground groups are organizing games all over the Bay Area. They play capture the flag at Oakland City Hall, have pillow fights by San Francisco’s Ferry building and play Four square at the Bart station. They say that taking over these adult spaces brings back the spontaneity of the playground… but without bullies.

TRAVIS MUNN: A lot of us are now friends outside of four square; it’s been a good way
to meet people, you know it’s not an easy thing to meet people these days.

Travis Munn comes almost every week to play and has seen what four square can do for people’s social lives.

MUNN: There’s definitely been some four square romances. Actually, now
that I think about it, like half the friends that I hang out with now are all four square friends. Who knew?

From his square, Finley adds another benefit.

FINLEY: It’s free, that’s definitely a big plus and I think in today’s world,
that’s a factor.

Anyone can join in and between five and thirty people show up to play every week. And, that’s just in Oakland. In cities all over the U.S. people are playing four square in public places. Some are even getting competitive. In fact, there’s even a four square world championship which takes place on February 27th in Bridgton, Maine. Player Sam Wong.

WONG: I don’t think that any of the Cali cats have been able to put together the money or the will-power to go all the way to Maine in the middle of winter to play four square. It’s a dream though, it’s a dream. We do want to go to nationals.

If they don’t make it to Maine, they can be found at the Rockridge Bart parking lot, every Thursday night at 9pm.

Reporting from Oakland, I’m Dara Kerr for Cross Currents.

By Dara Kerr on Wednesday, Feb 24, 7:34pm

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ANOTHER QFP: KATE KENDELL HONORED (AND HANGING AT THE CITY CLUB)

Last night, David and I went to help celebrate Kate Kendell, NCLR's amazing executive director, being honored by the San Francisco League of Women Voters as one of their 2010 "Women Who Could Be President."

As you probably know, Kate has led NCLR in its seminal work advocating for LGBT civil rights and equality. As usual, she made everyone teary-eyed when she spoke. And afterwards, Kate and David tried to convince a skeptical group of the merits of "The Office," and I pointed out that it's not cringe-inducing for her because she works at NCLR with so many great people like my dear friend Dena.

And since the gala was at the City Club, I got to pause and appreciate the Deco beauty of the lobby and club--it's one of my favorite spots in San Francisco. Kate and I were talking about how it's classically San Francisco: this old, WASPY, men's business club that's now led and used by members who are women or LGBT or people of color.

QTP (quick thought post): Tomorrow

I am definitely still hoping and visualizing that the California Supreme Court strikes down Prop 8 as unconstitutional and unjust.  But I also know that no matter what happens tomorrow at 10am PST, it won't be the end.  If the justices do the right thing and follow up on their May 2008 decision, those against marriage equality will renew their fight and there will still be misunderstanding and ignorance to overcome.  And if the court upholds Prop 8, I know that it will be hard work and it may take time, but that it will happen in California as it is happening in other places across the country and around the world.  Good people, civil rights, and justice will prevail.

Photograph: "Towards the Sun/Yachats" W.J. Dong, Jr. (c) 2007

JUST IN: IT'S HAPPENING TUESDAY

Quick, late-breaking news: The California Supreme Court has just announced that it will be issuing its opinion on the validity of Prop 8 this Tuesday, 26 May at 10am PST.  

Here's the actual Supreme Court announcement, some context from Kate Kendell at NCLR, and a way to get a text message when the opinion comes through.

We all know they may very well uphold Prop 8, but I'm still hoping justice will prevail.

And amidst all of this, some very cool news about an Oregon Native American tribe ruling to recognize marriage equality.  Thanks to Dena for sending the news from 'Gene, OR.

California Dreamin' or Rainy Days and Mondays? Another Week with No Decision on Marriage Equality

I cried last week when I listened to NPR playing testimony by straight allies in Maine before their state legislature took their historic vote for marriage equality.

But another week has passed since I last posted about the much-awaited decision by California's highest court on the validity of Prop 8 (see my 6 May post). And the one-year anniversary of their momentous decision to grant marriage equality came and went this past Thursday too. And the justices have to issue a decision by June 3rd. What does the delay mean?

As the calendar pages flip by, the good news continues to flow westward: the governor of New Hampshire has announced that he will sign marriage equality legislation, and the New York Assembly added five new supporters when they voted to pass a new marriage equality bill. The momentum continues to grow: soon tiny Rhode Island will be the only New England state (okay, Massachusetts is a commonwealth*) without gay marriage.

I continue to hope that our court will do the right thing. And perhaps naively, I keep thinking that their delay is a sign that they are taking the time to reflect, rewrite, and harness the groundswell of change that is happening in courts, legislatures, and people's hearts and minds across our country.

I want to take the opportunity to point you to an organization that has done so much to fight for marriage equality: NCLR. Check out this blog post ("Fasten Your Seatbelts"**) by its incredible executive director Kate Kendell. NCLR works everyday to help build a more just and fair America for all queer people. I have the honor of knowing well some of the amazing people who provide community leadership and legal acumen and services at NCLR, and the equally amazing people who raise the money to make that important work possible; and I have had the added honor this past year of helping them fundraise. If you click through to their website you can even sign up to receive a text message as soon as the court schedules an announcement.

Keep up the positive visualization!

*Four U.S. states are technically "commonwealths." Do you know the other three?

**And here's some cultural background you'll only get on a blog written by a gay man: "Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy ride!" became famous as the warning by Bette Davis' character, Margo Channing (based upon Tallullah Bankhead), to Marilyn Monroe's character in a New York soiree scene in "All About Eve." But the film was released in 1950 and seatbelts in cars weren't common until the late 50s--the audience would have understood that the characters were tossing around high-society banter, because only airplanes had seatbelts. Okay, bet you didn't know I was that kind of gay man...(Don't get me started on the original "A Star is Born...")

Waiting for Gay Marriage

Please click through and scroll down for an added multi-media feature to this post...

Okay, I couldn't resist the "Waiting for Godot" allusion, even though I prefer to use the terms "marriage equality" and "equal marriage rights."

So a great number of queer people, people who care about queer people, and people who just care about civil rights in our society--in California and elsewhere--are holding their breaths. Waiting. Trying to think positively. Because while the highest court in our state has until June to decide the validity of putting civil rights up to a popular vote, the scuttlebutt is that the decision on Prop 8 may come down as soon as this coming Thursday.

And this is something--as a queer Californian who very much would like to be able to legally marry my partner, and who believes that I should have the opportunity to those rights and responsibilities as part of being a Californian protected by our state constitution--this is something about which I care a great deal. It's personal and political, and it's about relationships and civil rights.

I guess I'm coming out...as a Unitarian Universalist--this is from the wedding of our Reverend Greg and his spouse Stillman in San Francisco last summer--and as engaged--David and me at Coastanoa when we decided.

I have been trying to stay positive, even when the scene that unfolded in court seemed so negative earlier this year. And as the incredibly amazing news keeps flowing westward from Iowa (Iowa!) and Vermont and now even Maine and New Hampshire, along with strong efforts in New York and DC and other states, I feel myself believing that our court has to do the right thing. And trying not to be afraid of believing that. And I know for a fact that so many other people, leaders and activists and allies and everyday folks are feeling and/or trying to focus on the same thing.

The purple--appropriately--is where marriage equality is now the law.

I know this is incredibly Californian of me, but I'm asking you to join me in visualizing our court doing the right thing and adding our home state to the list of places that says that queer people are not second-class citizens and queer committed relationships should be legally sanctioned, valued, and protected.

I completely understand the feelings, the preparations, and the call those who are working to plan events in response to the court upholding Prop 8 are making. I just think it's important for me to believe that justice will prevail.

Here's the added multi-media feature in this post: In January, David and I sat for a Storycorps interview in San Francisco. My dear friend Dena had passed along the call to participate because she knew I'm a huge fan of Storycorps and oral history, and because she knew I had been trying to figure out a way to process how I was feeling and seeing in our community in reaction to Prop 8 passing. It was a powerful experience, and helped us clarify how we've--together and individually--come to feel about wanting to be married and wanting everyone to have the right to marry. I'm including our interview in this post to give you a little more background on why I feel the way I do.

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO AN MP3 OF OUR INTERVIEW

I hope you enjoy it and please comment and let me know what you think of it, and please be kind about the editing--I cut it down from forty minutes and I've just been teaching myself how to use sound-editing software.

P.S. David bought me the great Storycorps book, Listening Is An Act Of Love, this past Valentine's Day; the interviews are incredible and moving and I highly recommend it.

Reminding Me of Another Inspirational City Hall event: Del Martin's Memorial Service

Being in City Hall Monday evening for the Goldman Prize reception reminded me about another event held at City Hall that I still think about (I realize that some of my posts are going to be about past events that I would have blogged about had I been blogging): Del Martin's memorial service last October. 

Del Martin's City Hall Memorial Service: banners of Del and Phyl, Glide choir with City honor guard at top of stairs, the halls and balconies filled with people celebrating Del's life.

My dear friend, Dena, especially since she sadly moved to 'Gene, OR, always reminds me about important events in the SF LGBT community when they cross her screen at work, and I'm glad she didn't let me forget about this celebration of Del's life.

Three main themes that day especially moved me: thinking again about Del and her achievements, the nature and feel of the ceremony itself, and the words spoken by Del's daughter toward its close.

Cover of the Program for Del Martin's Civic Celebration

Del and Phyl Lyon became a couple and starting working on queer issues in 1950 (!) and they stayed focused on both of those things together until Del died in August of last year.  Del was truly a steward and icon of the queer movement; Del and Phyl started the Daughters of Bilitis, The Ladder, the Council on Religion and the Homosexual, the Alice B. Toklas Democratic Club and so much more.  And I know I wasn't alone when I cried both times Del and Phyl got married in City Hall.  But that day it really hit home again how brave both of them had been to start this work when they did.

Program text and photos

Sitting in the Rotunda that afternoon as the service started, it struck me that we don't only live in 'the bubble," we are a separate country, and I felt very proud that it felt like a 'state funeral' that led off with an honor guard of uniformed police, fire, emergency, and parks staff carrying the U.S., California, San Francisco, and gay pride flags; our mayor spoke, as did our gay assemblymember, and our congressperson sent word from DC; all of the heads of city departments, our city supervisors, and so many SF queer, civic, progressive, and religious leaders from different generations filled the Rotunda that day.  To hear and see the arc of modern queer history and gay rights in that space, from official police intimidation to our police chief sitting in the front row, was extremely powerful.  And I know we were all keenly aware of us gathering together four months after our highest state court granted marriage equality and one month before that right was being put to a popular vote (more blogging on this too, I'm sure).

And I was truly inspired by something Del's and Phyl's daughter Kendra said to close her words:

"...Mom was not an extraordinary person, but rather a person who accomplished extraordinary things. This is important because each of us is needed to continue her work - - our work. It would be a shame if you left today, thinking that Mom was somehow bigger or bolder than you could ever be. In my view, what was extraordinary about what Mom did, and what Mom and Phyllis did together, is that they had clarity of purpose, set seemingly impossible goals and then just never quit...

Two other notes: Holly Near sang a beautiful song, "All That There Is;" I haven't been able to find a clip, recording, or lyrics anywhere, but will share it if I do--please let me know if anyone else has any info.  And Jim Hormel cited this John Wesley quote when he spoke, and it really made it so clear to me what we all do need to do to move queer rights forward:

"Do all the good you can. By all the means you can. In all the ways you can. In all the places you can. At all the times you can. To all the people you can. As long as ever you can."